The Cost of “I’m Fine”

I’ve been working on a 13″ laptop for 2 years now, the technology is brilliant however the position I have to assume in order to type this blog article or anything has become progressively more detrimental to my body.

My personal trainer, my chiropractor, my body guru have all wagged their fingers at me to make a change to support my posture.  So I bought a proper chair, which helped a lot but didn’t fix it because I still had to turtle my neck in order to work on the laptop.  Posture and alignment of the body is not new information for me.

I used to be the one preaching to the choir (clients) after all.

But

here is the but

I don’t think I’m alone in this, I kept telling myself and those that help me undo what I’ve done that

“I’m fine” or that “I’ll be fine”.

How many times have you answered with an “I’m fine” when you are not?  That response is probably the most common lie that we tell ourselves and others.

It is the conversation killer, because you can’t argue with ‘I’m fine”.  They said they were fine, so we accept that lie and move onto another topic.

“I’m fine” is a blanket response that intimates that we are not going to talk about how we are really feeling.  It is a generally accepted response to almost any experience.  Yet we are lying, more often than not.  Granted, there are times and situations when you are asked how you are that it wouldn’t be appropriate to answer honestly as it would be oversharing and the asker is asking out of common courtesy and isn’t inquiring for or wanting the deeper answer.

So we can get away with it.  I don’t have figures to back this up, but I’ll guess that 90% of the time we get away with telling others that we are fine without any recourse.

My neck is fine, I’ll take an Advil & this headache will go away and I’ll be fine,

fine

fine

fine

bla bla bla.

Except there is.

The recourse comes in the backdoor.  We say something enough, create a belief and whammo we have an unconscious mantra that we are fine, when we are not.  Lying to ourselves is the most harmful, because I think it is possible that we may then stop looking for ways to actually be and feel fine, like truly fine and not the fake kind.

I stopped listening, because it had become normal for me to pick up the phone and get help, a bandaid of sorts, but I’d get patched up and be back some times sooner than later for another fix.

I had stopped listening.  I heard myself say it a million times that “I’m fine” and I stopped hearing the truth, stopped hearing the call to action to do something beyond getting adjusted.

Until I stopped saying it.  And tolerating what being fake fine was for me.

Two weeks ago today, (after I had endured 3 weeks of daily headaches I might add) I went out bought a 27″ monitor, a proper keyboard and mouse.  The cost of which was nominal in comparison to what I have spent on massage, chiropractic and other modalities in the time period.  Heck I have been saying ” I really should…go out and buy a big monitor etc” but should is just code for I don’t want to, because I was fine after all.

I can not tell you the difference it has made for me.  I can not tell you the difference in my wellness overall not to feel impinged, not to be awoken in the night with a headache and so on.  This was a relatively easy fix to my, “I’m fine”, but there are layers to those 2 little words and they can run deep and twisty.

So I ask, “How are you?”

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Author

Sherry Trentini

As a Life and Grief Coach, my passion is helping women to let go of the past (thoughts, things, beliefs) to create space so they are able to re-envision and embrace their future!

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