Owning What Feels Heavy

Owning What Feels Heavy

Based on the contents of the emotional backpack that you are carrying…who’s names are on those rocks or what would you call them? Are you naming them for an experience, for a person, for an overall theme or feeling?

When you think of the contents, if you were to categorize them or put them into different piles as to what the source is, what would that look like for you?

One of my big life influences has been Louise L. Hay, and her little blue book, Heal Your Body, has been a resource that I have used perpetually and have given multiple copies away to others. When I read her first book “You can Heal Your Life”, I fell deeply in love with the concept that I could be my own healer.

Through changing my language, both in my inner and outer dialogue I could change my life and be free of all that hindered me. What I have learned is that sometimes the very tool that we use for the greater good can also put us in a place of blame.

Blaming someone or something for our dis-ease or discord in our life may initially feel empowering but blame’s superpower is to dis-empower us and can put us in an If-Then mindset that decreases our efficacy of feeling, being or doing better.

Here are some examples:

IF he/she/they had or hadn’t done x/y/z THEN I would feel …

IF he/she/they had or hadn’t said x/y/z THEN I would feel …

There used to be a saying that when we point our finger at someone else we have three pointing back at ourselves, and when I recognized that I was looking outside of myself that where I needed to look was in the mirror.

Therein lies the contrast, when we take the tools we are using for our greater good and use them as a means to take us out of owing our feelings and potentially adding more weight to our load.

Self Help Blocks

Self Help Blocks

The evolution of the Self-Help Genre has continued to be a game changer. My first trip to the bookstore to load up on all the books that would “fix” my life and problems was over 30 years ago. In the last three decades I have consumed a lot of self help and self development information in that time.

The idea that I could go to a bookstore buy a book and read it or skim it, or hope for osmosis, then apply or not apply the information all with the intention that ‘I could fix myself’ can have the opposite affect in my experience.

I recently came across a list I had created of the books I’ve read, and in reflection can see that I bought multiple books from multiple authors in search of the tip, technique or wisdom, to fix the same issue.

Asking for help has never been my super power and I know that, however when I embarked on my Life Reclamation Project: Me last year I did just that. It wasn’t just one person but seven. Just like I bought multiple books I needed different perspectives and expertise.

In this episode, I share what I have come to learn as two of my biggest blocks to doing the work I needed to do in order to create space and feel lighter.

Letting Go of the Past to Clear the Path to the Future

Letting Go of the Past to Clear the Path to the Future

I saw a lot of social media posts at the start of 2019 referring to 2018 as being a tough one. I would concur. 2017 was wrapping up on a very high note, yet my intuition kept telling me that something about this was off for me.

I couldn’t shake it.

So I took a step back, despite how others may feel.

When a not so awesome event dredges up old stuff from your life its also not awesome but not uncommon; but when a positive event acts like a tripwire I knew it was time to clean things up.

2018 was a year of letting go of stuff I had been packing around for a lifetime. The emotional baggage I had a strong emotional tether attached to needed my attention, the time was ripe. Coupled with the fact that I had a milestone birthday in December 2018, I knew it was stuff that was not serving me and I didn’t want to bring it forward into my new decade.

Sometimes dealing with past stuff is akin to cleaning your oven racks. Lots of hard work, time, scrubbing and getting the right tools and support to be successful.

Untangling yourself from past relationships, experiences, stuff etc can take a lot of effort, but choosing to release the attachments so that you can move forward feeling lighter is powerful and empowering.

 

What have you let go of that has impacted you positively?

What are you holding onto that you feel would make a difference in you life if you let go?

I can help you with that, shall we chat?

Defining Relationships – Video Podcast

On my intro episode of my podcast I shared that a Life Reclamation Project was about the untangling of the relationships with someone or to something to help you create space and have a lighter feeling future.

Relationship to a someone can be obvious:  Your spouse, an ex-spouse, a family member, friend, colleague etc.

Relationship to something can include:  your financial situation, your career, moving, phases of your life etc.

When I refer to a Life Reclamation Project – its about the letting go of and moving beyond the life experience(s) that still have a strong emotional tether to, of the heavy and not awesome variety.

Those emotional tethers can act as a filter in which we view our lives, our past, present & future, and can affect how we cultivate new experiences and relationships.

The work I do is to help you communicate what you wanted more, better or different from the relationship or life experience.  To help you let go of the things you are holding onto.

Have a listen to the audio or watch the video.

How to fold a fitted sheet

How to fold a fitted sheet

I re-posted this image on my personal Facebook page and many of my friends could relate to the humor.

Why?  Because we have all been there.

Sheets coming out of the dryer…

You either grab the flat one or the pillowcases to fold first, because they never give you any trouble.

Then with a sigh of resignation you pull out the fitted sheet, take a deep breath and give it your best shot.

Sometimes you are a crackerjack and get that sucker folded without much of a tussle.

Other times you can’t get the corners to line up, you get twisted and turned around, then ball the sheet up and stuff it in the closet.  Pick your battles.

In the video below, Martha Stewart, the goddess of all things household, polled the audience about what are they challenged by most that they would love to be simpler.

The answer was:  How to fold a fitted sheet.

Please watch.

My friend who said she had learned how to fold the fitted sheet by Martha gets a gold star for sharing that.

While watching the three women tackle the burly fitted sheet, the audience member volunteer had me in tears.  Because that is what happens sometimes, both in life and in folding.

Some days things line up, corners meet, and you can wrap it all up in a neat package with crisp lines and a tri-fold.

Other days, we can experience the contrary.  When the folded sheet has a mind of its own, or your brain is not communicating with your arms and you feel like an octopus out of water.

Either way, that sheet is getting into the closet.

And tomorrow is a new day.

Graduation [be] Present

Graduation [be] Present

Regardless of when you graduated, you may be familiar with that loaded of all loaded questions…

 

 

“Now What?”

 

I suspect more than a few people who are graduating are asking that question tirelessly.  With of course some other good ones like.

 

  • What am I going to do with my life?
  • Am I doing the right thing?
  • What if I hate it?
  • What if I fail?
  • What if I succeed?
  • What have I done?
  • What if I’m wrong?
  • What if I should have listened to… and did what they said?
  • Maybe I should do what that person is doing?
  • I shoulda…
  • I coulda…
  • I woulda…
  • I wonder if the circus is hiring?
  • Etc.

 

My eldest is a few days away from walking across the stage in her cap and gown.  I’m so excited for her because this is BIG.  There is no do-over when it comes to this particular ceremony.

 

She is excited too with equal parts scared.  And she is not alone.

 

The significance of any milestone is the fact that it marks the end of or accomplishment of something, while simultaneously marking the start of something new.

[Click to Tweet]

 

When it comes to completing high school think for a moment of all the things that are no longer going to be the same.

 

Regardless of how long a student attends a certain school the consistency of going to school for 12 years, 5 days a week, 10 months of the year ends.  The comfort of seeing familiar faces in their community, the other sights, sounds and smells (it is high school after all), is no longer their day to day, the normal order of things in their world stops as they know it.

 

The core of their existence, their friends, teachers, lockers, and routine changes and the “Now what” question gets even more traction and momentum.

In my opinion, depending on the intonation with which you ask that question, “Now what?”,it can be an invitation to throw open the door of possibility WIDE OPEN, and not always feel like the tentative turning of the handle.

 

To coin a phrase, “The world is your oyster”, can sound divine to some and others can be thinking “Ewwww oysters, what does that even mean?”.  Its all perspective.  And perspective is close cousins to focus.

When my daughter shared with me this morning that she and others were feeling off kilter with the upcoming graduation and all that implies about their future selves, this is how I responded. [Sharing with her permission]

 

 

It can be so easy to get caught up in the future energy that we forget to be HERE.

 

Being HERE in this moment.

 

Being PRESENT.

 

When we focus on trying to figure it all out at once we can miss the good stuff happening now.

 

This is for anybody, who is trying to create a future, no matter what door we are about to close or what door we are about to open.

 

Watch my video [3 min] here…

 

 

 

Last year I wrote,  “Graduation & Grief“, from a observation standpoint after attending my friend’s daughter’s High School graduation, from the community me and the girls had lived.  This year I am seeing and feeling this from an altogether different perspective.

 

And hey, If you are asking your own self, “Now what?” or are thinking about joining the circus,  why not book your Discovery Session with me and let’s have a chat, before you head to the big top! 🙂