Self-Directed Investing

You’ve said it.

You’ve heard it.

“It’s the thought that counts…”

That saying, during the holiday season usually is interpreted as negative.  Its attached to the gift that you just opened which may not fit, be your style, be anywhere in line with who you are or what you like and of course the present may not be as you had hoped and expected.  So we dismiss it by saying, “Its the thought that counts.”

But it is true… Thoughts do count.

I got a jump on the holiday season this year by aligning myself to have a easy gift giving experience.

And by that I mean I invested in being conscious of when i was getting caught up in the “not enough” thoughts.

“Is this going to be enough?”

“Have I bought enough?”

“Will they think its enough?”

“I haven’t done enough …”

“I should have done – bought – given more.”

None of those statements either said inside of my head or out loud help me feel the spirit of the season, they only serve to depreciate it.

In my Vlog “Affirmations: You use them everyday even if you don’t realize it”  I talk about how we can be affirming things that do not serve to support us and how we feel about our life overall.  And this is a case in point.

Diminishing ourselves by stating that we are not enough, and have not done enough only serves to override all that we are doing.  It subtracts and detracts from how we are showing up and what we are showing up with.

It takes away from us being “present“, if we trip over what’s in the wrapped “present“.

The noise of advertising can plant the seed of “not enough”.  We can be inundated with all the coolest stuff and all of the bargains to be had.  Not to mention the commercial depiction of Christmas trees barricaded by a mountain of festively wrapped packages of all sizes.

Ideally, gift giving, makes the giver and the receiver FEEL GOOD, regardless of what the contents are.

My Top 3 Ways of Staying Present, While Buying Presents

I have had a lot of practise staying present while preparing for the holiday season, because it is so easy to be lured down the dark and twisty path of “not enough”.

  1.  Check Your Feels

When you feel that surge of absolute pure joy at having found  the most perfect ugly holiday sweater for your loved one, do you ask yourself, “Is it ugly enough?”  Chances are that you don’t because the emotion attached to it is, pure joy.  You are thrilled beyond at the vision of them unwrapping the ugly sweater and modeling it at brunch.

If the gift you are buying doesn’t feel good, then perhaps its not the one.

2.  Challenge Your Thoughts

When you start to buy things unconsciously, as in using the word “should”, take a breath and check in as in #1.  If you are diminishing what you are buying by using “enough” in a sentence or statement, take a breath and check in with your feels.

Then ask yourself the question, “Is that true?” .  Challenging those thoughts interrupts the flow and brings us back into the moment.  Give yourself the gift of listening to your intuition.

3.  Give Yourself a Break

I had a brilliant gift idea that required me to create and order something online.  I tried 3 different sites to accomplish it.  I quickly became frustrated and grinch-y progressively during the process.  So I stopped.

Then a week or so later tried again.  Same experience.

Last week, I threw up my hands in absolute dismay and asked for help.  My helper had the SAME experience, so I decided to LET IT GO.  That even though this was a stellar idea, that met the Feel Good criteria and there were no limiting thoughts of it being “enough”.  However I had had ENOUGH and let the idea go.

Taking ourselves out of the situation for a breather is a win-win for everyone.

Choose to recharge your energy rather than “push thru” and further deplete your stores.

When we become present, when we are in the moment, we can recognize and acknowledge when we are doing things that are taking away from ourselves while trying to give to others.  Choose to put yourself on the top of the list and insure that you are directing some good energy towards yourself!

Remember it is the THOUGHT that counts, You get to choose where you invest your thought energy.

Happy Holidays!!




Sherry Trentini

As a Life & Grief Coach, I love helping people let go the hard stuff to make room and create the good stuff. I have a healthy respect for the resistance to letting things go, while knowing the liberation that comes from doing just that. I am all about helping you navigate through and towards your future. Additionally, I'm a gratitude junkie, a decluttering advocate and loves to do burpees as exercise!

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  • terena at

    loved this!

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