World Suicide Prevention Day Reblog:  Illnesses that no one saw coming

World Suicide Prevention Day Reblog: Illnesses that no one saw coming

Originally Posted in 2013I believe in synchronicity.

I believe in and welcome the arrival of the most perfect people, teachers, words, inspiration, motivation, products etc coming into my world.

As the Universe would have it, I was compelled to click on a link that led me to the following post regarding the language used in, amongst, around and in association with Suicide.

Here is what’s troublesome about the term “suicide survivor.” With cancer, heart disease, liver failure and so on, the survivor is the person who is directly affected by the health problem, who lives it and sometimes dies from it.
By taking on the role of “suicide survivor,” the bereaved accept the role of “victim” as well, since they are inexorably connected. You cannot be a survivor without being a victim.
And to be a victim, there must be a perpetrator.
Would that perpetrator, then, be the very person for whom they grieve?

This post has shaken my core, in as much as I have been precipitating the very stigma around Suicide that I “wished” did not exist, however never thought to turn the language around as I have in other areas of my life.  The author has given me a powerful tool to do just that.

 

When we replace “killed themselves” or “committed suicide” with “had a fatal depressive episode,” we start to see the horror of the mental illness that took our son, our daughter, our sister, our brother, our husband, our wife, cousin or friend.
And we can reduce the stigma, we can open a real dialogue, we can stop blaming our loved ones and ourselves and get to the tasks at hand – understanding, healing and prevention.

No matter if or how you have had an experience with suicide this post may very well be a catalyst of change.

 

Change in how we think about Suicide;
Change in how we don’t talk about Suicide;
Change in how we feel about Suicide;
Change in how we heal;
Change in how we move forward.

I am grateful for Joel Kobren’s, honesty, vulnerability and courage in this post

 

Illnesses that no one saw coming“.

This post is infused with Peace and Love,

Sherry

 

Holding Your Own Without Losing Your Self

Holding Your Own Without Losing Your Self

I’m grateful for the wisdom found in the book “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie.  This post includes the 22 October passage. 

“Trust Yourself.  Trust what you know.

Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.

In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame.  They may have their own agenda.  They may be immersed in denial.  They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.”

The words above may resonate with you.  
In principle you can read that with resolution and conviction and agree wholeheartedly.
If you are on the receiving end of someone else’s projection of guilt, shame and of their agenda; the application of this statement may require you to find your most perfect way to hold your own without losing your self.
“We don’t have to forfeit our truth or our power to others.  That is codependency.
Believing lies is dangerous.  When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self and our health.

When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center.  We feel crazy. We get into shame, fear and confusion.  We can’t get our bearing when we allow someone to pull the rug from under us.

This does not mean that we are never wrong.  But we are not always wrong.”

How is it that someone else’s words can so succinctly devalue our own truth?

How do we effectively sift through the rubbish in order to apply the statement above:  that it is NOT about us; rather a reflection about them?

  1. Feel what you are feeling!  Be mad, sad, hurt, angry, tearful and any combination of these and more.  Allow yourself to have that immediate goosh of emotions and feel what you are feeling.   
  2. Phone a friend not the perpetrator!   Our emotional defense mechanism may be set to retaliate first ask questions later; however sending that email or picking up that phone to blast that person is a reaction not a response. Choosing to be cruel is cheap and easy and reacting in a like fashion serves only the purpose of perpetuating cruelty.
  3. Breathe, get centered and …

“Be open.  Stand in your truth.  Trust what you know.  And refuse to buy into denial, nonsense, bullying, or coercion that would like to take you off course.
Ask to be shown the truth, clearly — not by the person trying to manipulate or convince you , but by yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe.”
I’m uncertain why fiction can feel weightier than fact at impact; however when we pause and find our own ground the “en-lightening” or weight shift can be tangible. Just because someone says something that they are presenting as truth, does not mean that it is true, for you or about you.  
Give yourself the time to disseminate their words and find perspective.  Allow yourself the opportunity to process the situation after the initial goosh of emotions have been released.  This may take minutes, hours or days.  Give yourself permission to take the time YOU need.
Once centered and open we can choose the response that best fits ourselves, the situation and best supports you.

“Today, I will trust my truth, my instincts, and my ability to ground myself in reality.  I will not allow myself to be swayed by bullying, manipulating, games, dishonesty, or people with peculiar agendas.”

Choosing to pause, breathe and gain perspective is choosing to respond rather than react.
By standing in your truth and releasing the initial investment and attachment to the words and letting them and the person go may be the end of this emotional ride.
Making peace and letting go of the situation without any reactive retaliation is not accepting what was said as fact or truth.  Letting it go no further is you resuming control of your center and respecting your truth.  
Engaging in written or verbal dialogue to change the perpetrator’s mind will keep you in their vortex.  Their control, not yours.
Give yourself Lovingkindness and send some to them.
Sending them vibes of Peace and Love may not be your go-to idea; doing so serves to refuel your tank and support your center without taking anything away from anyone, as they may have intended to do to you.
Doing this may take minutes, hours, or even days.  However the value in consciously releasing the space they have taken up within you in favor of Peace empowers and strengthens you.
Inhaling…
Exhaling…
Inhaling…
Exhaling…
Keep practising until you can think of them, the words, the experience, you within the experience with neutral vibes.
Wood You? – Its Elemental Dear Bagua

Wood You? – Its Elemental Dear Bagua

If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?  I’m not sure.  However if a palm frond falls off your palm tree and hits the neighbor’s garage it most definitely makes a sound.

I’ve had the pleasure of being in the garden on 2 occasions in the last month to hear the cracking and subsequent whoosh and crash of a 2 metre frond drop.  This morning as I looked up at my tree I was struck with something, perhaps you can relate.
Isn’t it fascinating that plant life just does what it does?  Right now in the Southern Hemisphere I see new leaves opening on my trees, my lawn is covered in clover, my citrus trees are nearly done producing and the palm is dropping the seed branch which I think is Australia’s version of snow.
The tree never questions its process, it just goes with its rhythm.  All it wants to be is a tree.  
You don’t see the orange tree trying to emulate the bamboo, or the bamboo trying to be a hedge.  Plant life does its thing, its the plant its intended to be.
The element of wood in Feng Shui is that of growth.  Plant life of all kind have a foundation of roots to support the growth above the earth.  Just like in our literal life we sometimes need to cut or prune to allow new growth, or to clear so that growth is not stunted or all consuming.
Wood is 
  • intuition, 
  • it is what you see and what your don’t see; as in the plant/tree reaches out above the earth while the roots are hidden in the earth therefore it holds trust; 
  • its an element of new growth, new skills, new projects. 
  • Wood embodies expansion.
  • trees have branches; our brains can branch out
  • trees have seeds; seeds are knowledge
  • the color green.
Wood is in Balance when we can trust the process and take reasonable risks; while open to guidance and open minded.
Too much wood can leave us feeling encumbered, and we can not keep up.
Taking to much on and consuming to much of the Earth.  We need to bring in the metal element to cut the wood.
Too little wood may be felt when we are not branching out; when we are keeping ourselves small. We need water in order to nourish Wood.
I invite you to consider where you are nurturing yourself for growth in all ways.  Physically, mentally and emotional nurturing to grow your tree of life.
Finding Your Center:  Its Elemental My Dear Bagua.

Finding Your Center: Its Elemental My Dear Bagua.

Earth is the Element directly associated with the Center of the Bagua.

Hence my invitation for people to come to the center of the map and feel “Grounded”.  

The best literal example I can use is what I do prior to teaching a Foot Fitness class or doing any type of bodywork.  I generally ask people to do a check in or perform an inventory of their body prior to us going forward.

Its simple and takes only a couple minutes, I invite you to join in.

  • Sit with your feet flat on the floor; or stand
  • Hands on lap; or hanging easily to your side
  • Eyes open or closed, your choice
  • Inhale through your nose to the count of 3,
  • Exhale to the count of 3 through your nose, like you are pressing out your breath
  • Repeat, extending the count as you are comfortable
  • Inhale noticing your lungs expanding and your shoulders rising
  • Exhale feeling your body melt down down down into your feet
  • Inhale feeling the energy rising
  • Exhale feeling the energy descending
  • Notice your feet and how they are making contact to the floor
  • Notice the where you feel the weight distributed
  • Press your feet into the floor; extend the toes to create the widest foundation
  • Inhale filling your lungs to capacity; lifting through the top of your head
  • pause; then exhale and empty your lungs to their depths pressing your feet into the floor
  • Take an inventory of your body from the feet up to the top of your head
  • Continue to focus on your breath; extending up through the top of the head and extending through the feet into the floor.
  • Notice and feel the contrast.
  • Continue for as long as comfortable.

This physical check-in can also be adapted to how you are feeling in your life overall.  Check out the Earth qualities:

Earth is physical, and is tangible in quality.
Earth is represented by the shades of yellow and earthtones;
Earth is literal soil, ceramics, tile, brick; 
Earth is the shapes of square and rectangle.
Earth is practical.
Earth is stability.

Too much Earth energy may be defined as feeling: 

  • too much responsibility
  • weighted down or heavy
  • too conservative
  • all method no madness
  • getting stuck
  • to focussed
Too little Earth energy may be defined by feeling:
  • precarious
  • floating
  • unfocussed
  • irresponsible
Balanced Earth Energy
  • grounded in the here and now
  • accountable of what we do and say
  • action to ideas
  • practical as an equal partner
  • symbolic of being the creator
So where on Earth are you? Or where is Earth within you?
On average are you feeling balanced, centered and grounded?
Can you notice where in your life that you may benefit from cultivating more or less Earth energy.  What action can you take to make that possible?
The Element of Wood controls Earth; whilst Fire makes Earth…
More on that to come.