The Value of Venting or Sh** Journalling

The Value of Venting or Sh** Journalling

The journal that you write your gratitude in is gorgeous.  

The one that you carry in your bag, at your bedside or keep on your desk is plump with ideas, musings and inspiration, and has the most decadent feel to it, in all ways.  

The writing instrument which you use to write the words of thanks, wax poetic about your intentions and mind map your inspirations is not merely a pen, but a vessel from which your own energy flows from and onto the pages of those sacred books.

Those journals, in all their beauty and masterpiece, are containers, preserving all the good thoughts and things documented about You and Your Life and Your Dreams.

So where do you document your angst, your tizzy, your discomfort.  

On those days when you are listening to a monologue from your gremlins?  The eye rolling, the disdain, the What The …?

There is a journal for that….drumroll please…

Introducing the “Sh** Journal”!!

The Sh** Journal is where you write with whatever marker, crayon, pen, pencil or finger dipped in peanut butter.

You write whatever sh** is running through your mind, that is fast tracking your moment, your morning, afternoon, evening, day, two days, week and beyond into the depths.  

The pages will be a safe place in which to express your sh**, your fire, brimstone and disdain. 

It is where you articulate thoughts like:

 

  • The “I suck, let me count the ways!” soliloquy,
  • The “What on earth made me think I could do this?” tirade,
  • The “Are you freaking kidding me?” moments,
  • The “Really…Seriously…This is happening?” and other drips of sarcasm,
  • The why I should practise, “Would you like fries with that?” monologue.

 

Where you can pose philosophic questions like:

 

  • Who gives a Sh**?
  • Why do I give a Sh**?
  • Is this really my Sh**?
  • Why is this Sh** running through my mind?

 

There’s more…write about when you think you are or feel like the Sh**ty:

 

  • boss,
  • leader,
  • parent, 
  • partner, 
  • spouse, 
  • friend, 
  • consumer,
  • driver etc.

WHY DO IT  

We have 60,000 thoughts per day, and lets be honest they are not all affirmations.  Its when one of those “I Suck” themed thoughts grabs our attention, then it invites a friend, and the friend invites a friend and suddenly its gone viral.   One simple thought morphed into a stadium filled with these self-deprecating, confidence busting, and alignment kinking thoughts. 

The longer we ignore them, the more come to the party. So get them out of your head, its like crowd control, calling security or 911 for assistance.

HOW TO DO IT

1.  GRAB WHATEVER PAPER IS HANDY

 

You are welcome to go out and buy THE most unattractive to you journal to have at the ready.  You can even doodle or collage a picture of what your gremlin looks like and add it to the back page.  Therefore when you write pressing down as hard as you can its like a voodoo energy towards that monster.  **Don’t forget to add horns or other adornments that further embellish that image.

 

Also, there is nothing stopping you from grabbing scrap paper from the recycle bin and just going to town.  Make it as easy as possible.

 

2.  WRITE WITHOUT STOPPING 

 

Or lifting the pen.  Write with absolute abandon, the faster you write those thoughts and get them out the better.

  

 

DO NOT edit, correct, punctuate…VENT!  Go with the flow.  Its not a presentation, dissertation or speech.   

 

Why not type it in a document on your laptop then delete it?  Read this article on why handwriting makes you smarter.

 

 

3.  EYE-ROLLING, SNEERING, SCOWLING ENCOURAGED

 

Get into the process, whether its rolling your eyes, sneering, snuffling, scowling or mimicking with your mouth what the face of those thoughts look like as you write them out.

 

Adding facial expressions while you are writing goes further get that energy out of you as you write is doubly cathartic.

 

4. SAY THANK YOU 

 

Once you have purged and vented all the Sh**, write Thank You to close.

 

I know you are thinking, “What the….?”  

 

You have just vented it out, every sh**ty detail.

 

How do you feel now?  Relief? Exhausted? Refreshed?

 

What’s happening inside that beautiful head of yours now?  

 

Is it possible that steam roller is no longer making pass after pass flattening your energy, self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence?  

 

Have you every had this experience when talking to a friend, whereas you were given the space to vent or been that friend?  What did you say at the end?  Probably thank you for letting me get that off my mind. 

 

Thank you is closing the loop, its completing the process.

 

5.  LET IT GO

 

Rip the papers out of said unattractive to you journal, tear them into itty bitty bits, feed them to the shredder, or if possible set a match to them (in a safe, well ventilated area taking all the precautions when setting something afire).  

 

Feel free to do a tantrum tap dance on top of them before sending them off to their final resting place.

 

Keeping them serves no value.

 

Keeping them makes it possible for confidentiality to be compromised.

 

Keeping them is like keeping those thoughts.

 

Let them go with another dose of gratitude and a dash of Love.

 

Why Love?  Well, you may have learned something in your Sh** journalling, you may have learned that the stadium of thoughts had a common denominator called Fear.

 

Fear that those things were factual.  (Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real)

 

Adding love to the letting go process is more for YOU so that you can replenish what had been steam rolled earlier.  

 

AND FINALLY

Big Inhale

and

Big Exhale

 

 

Trust me, when you have been hosting all that Sh** in your head you were breathing shallowly and now that its out we can get back to business.  So freshen up and reset the body, mind and spirit by taking 3-5 big deep breaths.

 

Now you can get back to the business of being your awesome self, loving your fabulous thoughts and all sorts of other Good Sh**

Decluttering 2015

Decluttering 2015

The dawn of a New Year is nearly upon us.

The calendar is shiny and clean and waiting for us to fill it.  

Like opening to the first page of a new notebook or journal or climbing into to a new car and inhaling that new car smell.  


The possibilities are endless of what we can create for our new year.

Isn’t it exciting and liberating that annually we collectively start anew!


Globally the world is literally letting go of the old year and welcoming the new.  

We get to choose what we carry over from our last year. 

We get to choose what we let go of from our last year. 

We get to choose how we feel about our experience with 2015 and how it affects our go forward into 2016.

We get to choose.

A Year in Review

How would you sum up your experience in 2015?

Going back through the months and reviewing your year, from the perspective of this moment.  

What does the past year feel like overall?

The good times and the challenging times, the high tides and the low tides; the chaos and the quiet.  Reflect on how you have evolved and what 2015 taught you, especially the lessons and skills you acquired about yourself. Without the substance and experiences of this past year, you would not be the person you are in this moment.  

Keep

The good stuff that added value to you and your life experience in 2015 are definitely the keepers. The memories, moments and stories that when you recall bring a warmth and happiness that 

  • you were there, 
  • you were a part of something, 
  • you did, 
  • you went, 
  • you tried, 
  • you experienced, 
  • you connected, 
  • you succeeded, 
  • you taught,
  • you inspired,
  • you learnt, 
  • you laughed, 
  • you cried,
  • you thanked,
  • you helped,
  • you nurtured,
  • you loved,
  • you rocked it,
  • you believed,
  • you challenged,
  • you breathed,
  • you . . . . . .

Amongst that list there may be occasions that only by looking back from this moment can you see and feel the value.  The times that only when the experience or situation had passed were you able to then or now look back and say, “Yes, that was mine.”

Taking ownership for the good stuff, no matter that it was not readily apparent at the time, strengthens our foundation.  Keeping the energy of the good stuff and appreciating what we garnered from it helps us create and attract more in the future. 

Toss

Letting go of the times in the last year that do not serve you.  The times that may deflate your energy and or take away from the good stuff.

Its not always easy to let go of past experiences that were not especially stellar. It is not always easy to recognize that holding on to those times may be taking away from your energy rather than adding value to it.

What does holding onto them do for you?

Is it possible that you are “shoulding on yourself?”

In your reflection, note if you find yourself saying…

  • I should have done,
  • I should have went,
  • I should have said,
  • I should have tried,
  • I should have gone,
  • I should have started,
  • I should have taken,
  • I should have helped,
  • I should have ….

For whatever reason you chose not to do something, reflecting with “I should have” statements make you feel guilty.  

Let them go.

If you hear yourself saying “I shouldn’t have…”, for whatever reason in the course of the year you chose to do something, however in retrospect you wish you had not.

Its done.

You did.

Let it go.


And if you are challenged by doing so…what would it feel like to forgive?

Make Peace

Lingering amongst the “shoulds” of 2015 may taint the go forward resolutions or intentions you are creating for 2015.  We can become mired in the why’s, the worries and what if I hads.

What if you were to look at those lists with the eyes of observation rather than judgement?

Is it possible that you made the best decision you could have with the information you had at the time?

Is it possible to make peace with the things you feel you ought to have done but didn’t? 

Is it possible you can convert those should have’s of 2015 to I choose to’s in 2015?

Armed with what we know now, we may have made different choices then.  We can not go back to those moments, however we can choose whether bringing them into the new year serves us going forward.

Is it possible that you can find a take away?

To find the life lesson amongst it all?

Is it possible that letting go of the shoulds can be fertilizer for what we want to create in 2015?

Letting go by making peace is not a means of pretending it did not happen.  It is about changing the way we look at circumstances that may be resonating negatively within us.  

Forgiveness is not making what did or did not happen okay, vanquishing us of responsibility or accountability.  Forgiveness allows us to release the tensile strength of our emotional attachment to a circumstance. ~Sherry Trentini

Choosing to lessen the  load of carrying negative energy from 2015 into the new year, helps to create space in our thoughts and feelings.  Choosing to no longer vibrate or resonate with the perceived negatives at the same level is frees up energy so we can direct it towards what we do want to carry.

By first making peace with chosen content of 2015 can make it easier to choose whether to carry it forward into the new year or let it go.  Whatever you choose to do, adding the essence of gratitude to what 2015 taught you goes a long way to cultivating gratitude in the coming year and years to come.

You get to choose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Download a copy of my e-book Intentional Gratitude!

Decluttering Clothes Closets

Decluttering Clothes Closets

Its that time of the year when I enter my wardrobe and
acknowledge the fact that a portion of the contents no longer serve me. 
I’ve had a couple of years reprieve from having to do this
task whilst living in Australia, where my closet looked identical year
round.  Being back in North America means
a more substantial effort to transition, and as a “purger”, I had only a couple
of items  left in the archives worthy of
the briskness of autumn and chill of winter.
I choose to look at this as an advantage.  Not simply because I’m open to retail therapy, but from the perspective that the clothes I choose to add or let go of
from my closet is a practical and literal way of moving my energy.

Clothing absorbs and reflects our energy.  They illustrate who we are and who we want the world to see.

Our garments can support our energy, 
both how we are feeling and how we want to feel

Decompress

We can climb out of bed and have a pyjama day; or climb into our comfy gear after a long day, and the doing either adds another layer to support our desire to relax.

Amplify

We can boost our intention to have fun when going out by how we dress, to a party, out with friends, or going for dinner.  We can even exercise with a little more effort, if our gear adds to our vitality.  

Project

We can use our wardrobe to depict who we are or who we are becoming.  Think about how you would dress for a job interview, date or important meeting at the bank or office.  

What about the items that you are no longer connecting with? The pieces that your hand hovers over top of but never grab?

Those may hold a past story and resonated with you then, however, are not currently in sync with your present and more importantly your future.

Create space in your closet by letting go of the garments that:

1. No longer fit,

2. No longer attract you,

3. No longer evoke the energy you wish to project. 

4. No longer make the impression or statement you wish to make.

Those pieces left hanging, can take away from collective good feeling of your closet, so whether that means discarding, passing them on or storing them until the season comes back around, physically removing them from your space can be uplifting.

Add items into your space that you LOVE! Whether you are buying new things, or are returning your stored seasonal clothes, the positive connection to what you see in your closet, and subsequently wearing serves your spirit overall.

While making the change I invite you to do so with gratitude. Being grateful for the clothes that have served you and giving thanks for the new energy for those taking their place.

Infusing your wardrobe with love and gratitude will support you in looking and feeling better, going forward in this and every season.

Decluttering Food Storage

Decluttering Food Storage

In my past life I not only had a large refrigerator in the kitchen, and a second smaller one, along with a 10 cubic foot deep freeze.  This was practical and realistic for that time in our lives.
When we moved overseas we quickly adjusted to the fact that the refrigerator we now had would have easily fit inside the one we had in Canada, with room left over.  A bit of a quandary at first, however, as the Europeans are known for we too shopped for consumables nearly daily. 

In Australia, we acquired a fridge that was similar to our North American style, and learned quickly that by living a mere 500 metres from the grocery store it was a little much.  Our shopping habits were a blend of both North American and European style.

With our return to Canada, we have had more opportunity for hosting people, therefore at times we would have benefited from having additional storage.  And for that I am grateful.  However, I have learned in the last six months that more is not necessarily practical or realistic for this time in our lives.
Eager to hit the large warehouse grocers, I found our eyes were bigger than our consumption habits.  A number of fresh “bulk” items had to be discarded.  I found that having a freezer full of an assortment of meats and veg is not nearly as inspiring as it is convenient, and we’ve been drawn in by the advertising of buy 4 and save promotions to be an easy sale.
Especially during the holiday season.  I bought quantities of things that normally I would not have.  Suddenly having 14 boxes of crackers, 6 bags of potato chips, and various and other sundry “treats”, became a necessity!

Ugh 🙁
I understand and practise the concept of shopping the outside aisles of any grocery store, where the fresh items can be found.  I nip into the middle ones as needed and consciously skip aisles, because I know browsing can lead to buying.

A couple weeks ago I declared that we would be eating our way through our frozen goods and now after the binge buying for the holiday season I’m including our dry goods as well!

The Fridge Door

This is home to the condiments, jams, jellies, dressings and spreads.  Amongst our collection are bottles and jars used once, thought it would be good, and containers that make me ask where did this come from and why.
Doing an inventory of such food items can be:
Inspiring 
Motivating you to recipe search ways to incorporate one or both of the unique grainy mustards on hand, into a dish.
Reminding you of a dish you created that you had forgotten about therefore changing the status to used twice.
Liberating
I discarded a horseradish that on the label claimed “hot”, however was anything but hot.  Each time I reached for it, I frowned, so I emptied the contents and recycled the jar.  Having it reside in my fridge did nothing but take away space for things that make me smile.
Presentation
Have you ever stood there looking for something and all of the contents just blurred together.  By wiping jams and jellies of the bits that have accumulated, cleaning the shelves then changing the order in which they appear helps to stimulate and refocus what we see when we are looking for something.

The Inner Sanctum

Just as the fridge door, presentation plays a big part on the shelves and drawers.  Out of sight is out of mind.

There are the daily consumables on the shelves: juice, milk, cream, butter, eggs, cheese etc.  Because their rotation is frequent there is little fear they will expire before their time.

However its the tubs of yogurts, sour cream, cream cheese, cottage cheese that once opened the countdown clock begins and if they get bumped to the back of the fridge there is even less hope.

This is where I invest time in organization and presentation.  Just like the grocers, I lean towards having them label out and eye level so when someone is peering inside they are easily spotted and may very well inspire someone to use in their creation.

Produce can be a challenge, when more than one in the household shops, and recently we had more carrots than we could conceivably consume.

Spinach, carrots, apples, celery either get blended or juiced.  I have been using a silicone muffin tray to freeze the juiced goodness for smoothies. This has been a clever way to extend the usefulness of produces, especially when greens start to wither.  

Again this goes back to buying the quantity of fresh that exceeds our consumption.  Being mindful that consuming good food can be rhythmic and because you ate the large bag of spinach two weeks in a row, it bears keeping in mind that consumption fluctuates.

The Freezer

How long do bananas last in the freezer waiting to be made into muffins or a loaf?  Banana loaf is a popular item in my household, however, when the frozen bananas start to make me feel guilty for not having made them into a baked goodie I let them go.  
There is more than one way to use up an overripe banana than tossing it into the freezer to live for eternity. I have chosen to buy less rather than more, rather than having the excess be banished to the freezer.
This past summer when at a warehouse store I decided I would buy a selection of frozen treats.  Turns out only 25% of the pack was popular and in the freezer remains the other 75%, 4 months later.  
I do not consciously like to discard food, however, the reality is that no one is going to eat them.  With it being winter the odds are even smaller, and the odds get even worse thinking it will be another 4 months until frozen treats will be attractive.  

Therefore, I let them go.

The Cupboard

Until further notice in my household I will not be replenishing:  crackers, cereal, potato chips and other snacks.  I’ve already made peace with the fact that I’ve overbought and that despite my best efforts some of what I bought will go stale.
Now that the holiday season is coming to a close, the buy four specials or the bogo offers will drop in popularity until the next “celebrate by serving potato chips” occasion comes around.
As a rule I do not succumb to such offers, however it bears repeating…

Saying “No” once at the grocery store means not having to repeatedly say No when you are at home.

~Sherry Trentini, Creating Space

They suggest not to grocery shop when you are hungry, I would also add not to grocery shop when you are not present.  
Being tired or distracted may lead to you accumulating things in your trolley that do not serve you or your household in a nurturing way.  
I know I have allowed the dazzle of the “good deal”, to influence my purchasing, and I know I have paid the price twofold.  Hence having to consciously declutter my food storage.
Making choices that are contrary to our lifestyle, does not mean that we have completely let go of our Nurturing values.   
We have the power of choice:  choosing to continue in that fashion or not, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Decluttering Virtual Boxes

Decluttering Virtual Boxes

At the end of the year I take inventory to:

Donate things that I know I will never use.

Discard things that are no longer useable or donatable.

Clean, Organize and Refresh the energy of the things I do want in my space. 

Most of my personal belongings are stored in a 16′ x 16′ container. Despite the best intentions the most perfect home has not been acquired in our new location. Therefore we continue to live in a furnished rental property with perhaps 40% of our belongings.
This makes me a little antsy.  This makes me a wee bit impatient as I know there are things in that container that meet the criteria above.
I decided this morning that in order to satisfy my need to purge, clean, organize and refresh my space I’d have to be creative.  
Since I can not get into my boxes I would literally have to think outside of them! I went to my Inbox!

Email-Deleting the Archives

I started my day with a coffee and settled in to read my personal email.
Thanks to my smartphone I easily delete and discard emails on the fly, but what I noticed when I opened my account on my computer is that I had a total of 4181 read emails in my inbox.
That number stood out at me like a beacon.  I’ve read or clicked on over four thousand emails and deemed them important enough to keep?  Surely I must be joking…
So I started to investigate what I had been hoarding…
I navigated my way to the 4181st email and by only looking at the subject line I knew that I could let it go.
I worked backwards for a time, deleting 50 emails per page, simply by reading the subject line.
In no time I was down to 3404.  Then 3,101, then 2794, 2660.
By the time I had finished my first cup of coffee I had deleted 1521 emails.
It could have been easy to get caught up in the reading and reminiscing of emails from some senders.  
It could have been easy to create a folder named “Keepers”, to sort and organize correspondence into.  
The truth of the matter is that the content was no longer valid, no longer applicable, and no longer valuable.
It was simply taking up virtual space so I clicked “Delete”.

Email-Shoulds

I do have a number of folders, and when I glanced through them I noticed that four of them contained, “I’ll read when I have time” or “I should keep these and read them”
Some of those emails were over 4 years old, and again without clicking on them and getting caught up in consuming the content I decided that simply deleting them was me choosing to stop “shoulding” on myself.

Email-Click Unsubscribe

Having recently began my own email list for my website, I understand the value of list building.  I can not aptly describe the thrill of receiving an email telling me that someone signed up to my list, trust me it is very exciting.
What I noticed in my inbox is that there were multiple stored emails I received from companies and people that I rarely if ever clicked on.  Most of them were the giant corporations that incessantly send emails and frankly I never read them.
So I clicked the Unsubscribe, thanked them silently and deleted all of the ones I had never been opened.
What I have learned in the last few weeks of building that list is the importance of sharing content that people click on to read and engage.  Having people who are not attracted to your content, offers or what you have to say, or like me delete without even clicking, is a disservice.
I can not aptly describe the moment of acceptance when I received emails informing me that someone had unsubscribed from my list. 
[Note:I said acceptance]
I trust that when I sign up for email newsletters, offers or otherwise I do so when I attracted to the content; therefore when I have unsubscribed from a list I am doing so because that content is no longer of value to me, I am overwhelmed by the influx, or I am turned off by constant offers and no content.  I get to choose who appears in my inbox.
When I received unsubscribes I accepted the fact that, like myself, they valued the content of what they had received however they were honest with themselves and me that it was not most perfect for them.  Asking the question and trusting in the answer.

Email-Receipts of the past

I’m quite pleased that some companies are giving you the option to have your receipt or invoice emailed rather than a paper copy.  I enjoy the print at home option for tickets as well.
The paper copy can fade in time, or smooshed from your pocket or bottom of your bag.  A paper copy can be misplaced, misfiled or mislaid.  
An email copy is very efficient and easily searchable or filed electronically.
In my 4181 emails, I was able to let go of well over 500 emailed receipts over the past few years.
Concert tickets I enjoyed.
Updates on events I had attended.
Purchases I made.
Delivery notifications.
There is an expiration date on holding onto purchase receipts, both literally and electronically.  Especially when some online vendors keep that content in your account and keeping one in your inbox is simply duplication of the same.
Just like cleaning out your wallet, purse or file folder, discarding receipts of past purchases creates space in your inbox as well.

Email-Drafts

I had a couple dozen emails that I had started, never finished or may have gotten distracted, called away from or had simply changed my mind about composing.
I had a couple of emails that I had obviously decided it was in my best interest and that of the greater good, to write but not send.
The cathartic response to putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard to get things off of your chest is either reacting or responding to something.
Just as you were taught in school when writing an essay or report, it is best to get the content on paper, walk away or let it sit, then go back, review and edit.  
Reacting is often your first draft.
Responding is letting your first draft sit, reviewing and editing the content with perspective.
Holding onto drafts hold thought energy, its like that niggling feeling like you forgot to do something.
Deleting emails that you had started and never finished, drafts that are well outdated are holding space and holding thoughts that may serve you better to let go of.

Going from 4181 to 2000 

I do not fancy myself a hoarder, quite the contrary, so today when I managed to declutter nearly 2200 emails I was very pleased to how en-lightening it was to have created that much space in my inbox.
Things to note:
I did not get caught up in reviewing the content, rather I used the criteria of date (starting with year), subject line, and sender, as my guide to whether it held any value.
I was honest with myself about whether I would create the time to review the emails I had organized in folders.  Letting go of the “should reads” literally made my shoulders relax.
Unsubscribing from lists from giant companies was easier.  I consciously signed up for their list through purchases or necessity; I consciously unsubscribed from their list due to the quantity or lack of relevance.  
Choosing to let go of emails from an entrepreneur or website was harder but equally valuable.  When I searched the sender I noted how many emails I had engaged with, and how many I had “intended” or “shoulded on myself” to get back to.  I did choose to delete past emails I hadn’t read and will see if I’m inspired to carry on with them as new emails arrive.
Deleting Receipts felt like cleaning out my wallet or purse.  It was easy and feels lighter just thinking about it.
Letting go of email drafts was also easy to do, knowing that they are no longer in virtual purgatory feels better overall.

Emails- Sent

As pleased as I was to have declutter my inbox by 50%; I was equally overwhelmed when I noted that my Sent folder held 4671 emails.
Using the date as my main criteria I downsized the sent emails to 3350 in a few clicks.
The knowing that I have let go of 3502 emails or 40% of the content I was holding in my email account is a great way to Create Space in my world!