Are you in the Groove right now?
You know, when you everything seems to be moving along in just the right rhythm. The times when you have everything in the radar and you know where you have to be, you know what you have to do, and you know how to get there. Things get done, you have the energy, and you have the motion.
Or are you in a Rut?
When the flow is just not smooth, the rhythm is choppy and the beat is just not moving you. These are the times when you need everything in the radar to either slow down or speed up but the energy just isn’t there to precipitate that change. Things aren’t getting done, your energy is zapped, and you either feel you are at a standstill or a on a treadmill (moving but really not going anywhere).
Sir Isaac Newton stated, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” And that is illustrated in the Yin Yang symbol from the Chinese as these elements exist in all things.
|I Love the “S” imagery in this yin yang symbol.
Yin elements are feminine; they are dark, introspective, muted and soft; while Yang elements are big, bold, busy, masculine, extroverted and bright.
The symbolism and meaning of this is that the universe requires the duality of all things in order to exist. We would not know what light is if we did not have dark; hence we wouldn’t know what a groove was if we didn’t have a rut!
My interpretation of Sir Isaac Newton’s first two Laws of Motion is that if you are at a standstill or are moving at a constant speed that only an external force will cause that to change and the change will only be as good as the force itself.
Therefore, if you are in a groove and want to keep that humming, you need to continue to attract the things into your life to perpetuate that groove; and if you want to boost it you’ll need to attract those vibes as well.
The tricky one is the rut. Once entrenched in a rut it can become dangerously close to resembling a hole if we let it. We can become so introspective and enmeshed in that feeling that we forget what its like to groove in the light.
Make peace with where you are. Acknowledge that the not so “flow” feeling may be the pause needed to take on the next leg. Moving through and beyond a rut may require you to simply be; take that cleansing breath and find your inspired action that feels good to help you find traction to start moving. Ask yourself what would feel better, what ripple can you create with your thoughts?
If you are in a rut right now, thank the rut for giving you the opportunity to float, ask for the push to move forward. You don’t have to know what kind of push you need or who you need to answer your call; recall the rhythm of your groove, and keep listening for the beat.
If you are Groovin’ right now, feel that rhythm, express your gratitude, be golden! And listen for someone calling out for your help to get them out of a rut.
How do YOU get yourself out of a rut?
How do YOU get your flow moving again?
Would love for you to post YOUR go to rhythm generating ideas, below or on Facebook
With Grateful Ch’i
How would you describe your favorite body of water?
How would the water be moving or is it still?
Would it be deep or shallow?
Would it be calm or energetic?
Off the top of your head, what water metaphor could you use to describe your life at this moment?
Does that metaphor match your ideal Flow in your life?
Water is an essential ingredient in our life. Literally. Our bodies are composed of 50-75% of water. We can live without food but we can not sustain our life without water.
Water is the source of Life, it is connecting to spirit and spirituality. It is the Flow of life.
When we have to much water energy in our lives we can
- lack form
- overwhelm ourselves and others
- tidal waves of emotion; flooding
- unprocessed stuff
- feel wishy washy
When we have too little…
- like we’ve lost the/our flow
- lost connection to our Higher Power
- lack synchronicity
- dehydrated, dry and combustible.
Momentum would also be a great way to describe Flow. That feeling of being in the groove.
Where in your life are things not going with the flow?
Where have you sprung a leak?
What could you add to your life or let go of in order to improve your momentum?
We can unclog our flow by letting go of things that seem to be holding us back. It could be letting go of literal things, people, relationships, thoughts, clutter and even the simple act of deep breathing can help to release energy to get your flow back on.
What parts of your life are going with the most perfect flow?
What can you learn from those tributaries and apply to the areas that need some help?
I believe that we could associate multiple metaphors of water to describe our lives. Your ideal career pace may look completely opposite from what you want your home life to feel like.
The magic is finding the Balance that suits you best.
Grief can arrive like the rolling in of black clouds before a storm.
Grief can make your brain feel stuffy like a full blown head cold.
Grief can make your physical body feel as if you are walking through mud.
Grief can contract your emotions so tight you feel like you are waiting for the bomb to blow.
Grief feeds on and morphs into the very monsters hiding in the closet or under the bed.
Grief sensitizes us to ourselves and others.
Grief is the great lecturer on the past;
Grief is the shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Grief is the judge and the jury;
and given permission grief can be the jailer.
Grief is the darkness.
Grief does to you anything it wants…if you allow it.
So what now…………….(Inhale Peace)
I choose Gratitude (Exhale Love)
I choose Lovingkindness.
The days leading up to the memorial date were not filled with Lovingkindness. Nope they sure were not.
I was channelling the power of anger and depression. The uninvited flashback moments of 4 years ago running through my mind. The details as crystal clear as if it were all happening in present moment. I could feel it in my body, I could smell it, I could taste it. I could hear the question, “Why?” being asked by myself and others. I was generating a vortex full of wrath and fury fueled with sadness and loss. I was feeling “without“.
Then, I would look at my daughters and the storm would pause, the turbulence would sigh with dismay at losing momentum.
The morning of the memorial day I woke up feeling lighter. Feeling partly cloudy rather than imminent storm. I asked the girls what happy story they were thinking of about their Dad. I saw their father in their faces. I invited private flashback moments of their births, of stories of our lives with him. And I began to feel gratitude. I was feeling “with“.
Not gratitude for him not being here, but gratitude for him giving us what we had with him in our lives. Reflection.
Over a comfort food breakfast we shared stories. Nurture
Looking around our ecosystem and feeling Blessed. Gratitude.
Choosing kindness over bitterness. Community.
Inhaling Peace and Exhaling Love. Love.
Went out for lunch and shared laughter and fellowship. Joy.
Reminded myself that I am supported. Spirit.
Allowed myself to let go. Flow
The mixing of Gratitude with Grief is like trying to blend oil and water.
Grief being the oil at the top not allowing the water (Gratitude or Peace) to mix in. You can shake the jar as long and hard as you want and in the end the oil will always float to the top.
We can not change the physical properties of oil and water, however what we can do is change our perspective. Perhaps the oil is the Gratitude and the water is the grief? Its possible, if we allow it.
Everyone has their own process in coping with and moving through grief. And as each year passes I’d love to say that it gets easier; however what I will say is that it gets different.
I consciously choose to be open to what is possible. Grief can rise to the top on any given day.
I’m not looking to close the door on grief for myself or my daughters, I am however always open to creatively approaching this memorial day or any other day that grief appears.
I’m grateful. I’m grateful to be here to hug my girls, to love my girls and send love to everyone who has lost.
Its safe and okay to be sad and miss our Dads,
Its safe and okay to love and miss our Dads,
All is well.
Living abroad we can find ourselves at times missing certain comforts from home, such as food. These things can be appeased by either requesting a care package or being creative in the kitchen, our feeling of missing can be satisfied for the time being.
When we miss family or friends, that too can be handled quite easily with an email, skype call or any number of online options. However, no matter how far technology has come when we miss that special person that is beyond this world, there is a palpable void.
Special occasions like birthdays, Christmas and other calendar dates bring up those feelings and in some ways we can be some what prepared for those times, since we know they are coming up. Its the times, when no matter where in the world you are, that on a Thursday, for no accountable reason, you feel as though you have been swallowed up and the feelings of loss have enveloped you.
As an adult I can and do practise what I posted in the Rock Star or Roadie
blog and through that can navigate my way through the funk. As a Mom, my instincts want me to just tuck my girls away, hug them, hold them and fix things.
No amount of hugs from me can replace the arms that they wish to hold them.
Listening to me can not replace the voice that they wish to hear.
A Mom can do and be many things for their children; but a Mom can never be their Dad.
I can only love them, hug them, help them as a Mom.
I can be a “go to” person for them.
I can breathe deeply & evenly, and encourage the same.
I can listen and through that feel the heaviness of the funk lighten.
We can talk and acknowledge that these heavy feelings are temporary and know that they aren’t always this strong.
We can sort through some choices and auxiliary experiences, created during this time, that may have best been put on pause, but learn from them all the same.
I can and do remind them of their Rock Stardom; we can smile, laugh, and feel even more heaviness dissipate.
Reaching out to someone when you need a “go to” can seem like the most difficult step;
Reaching in to someone when they need a “go to” can seem equally so.
To keep connected during these times takes willingness and faith on both parts.
The email, phone call or invitation for a walk may be the opening up to helping yourself or another feel lighter and better able to make their way back on stage.
Listening, watching and being within the ocean during my vacation reminded me of the environment’s physical ability to compliment itself with change. As well as at home, the cold harshness of winter is letting go to the gentle renewal of spring. Everything has its own rhythm.
I really enjoy going into the ocean and floating, rolling with the water as it crests and just letting my body be moved and supported by the water. Someone nearby was trying to do the same and asked me how I was able to keep my toes out of the water while doing so? From a physical standpoint I explained that I was keeping my body lifted towards the top of the water and then just breathing and floating. No real technique, just “going with the flow”.
I watched as they forced their feet to the surface but kept their backside closer to the bottom so when the water would rise they would get a face full rather than floating atop as a leaf would. It appeared that they were working against the water, trying to control the movement and working to keep afloat rather than “just going with the flow”.
Working with your current momentum of your life can be challenging. Perhaps you are in a low tide place where things are seemingly moving at a slower pace; allowing your mind and body to be in restoration in order to prepare for the high energy of high tide.
I love my high tide; when I’m going and doing, connecting and building, riding the wave! However there can be times when while on the move I look forward to the ebb. Contrarily there are times when I less than love the low tide and am working vigorously towards getting back in the flow; but am beginning to understand and appreciate the benefits of this balance.
Just as the lesson of floating in the ocean; it is distracting to think about the ebb while in the flow and vice versa. Being present can be the largest lesson to learn and a most valuable habit to cultivate. The Yin/Yang symbol shows us the balance of light & dark and is constantly moving in synchronicity. And just as our physical environment teaches us that surely spring follows winter; low tide follows high tide; and day will turn to night; we sometimes have to let go of our idea of control and trust that the pattern is working synchronistic ally in our lives even though it may not be readily apparent.