Some experts say, that by the age of ten years old you will have acquired 75% of the basic information that you will use to run your life. For the next decade, you absorb another 20% from your expanded community and from social influences.¹
Additionally, that information is also stored with an emotional tether, based on intensity and the source of the information.
What a tremendous learning curve, because in those first fifteen or so years we are constantly consuming information, most often without a filter, since we do not have an inventory in which to qualify whether what we are learning is inherently right, wrong, good or bad.
Sociologist Morris Massey proposes that we are not born with values but rather that the go through three developmental stages, these are: Imprint Period; Modelling Period; Socialization Period. ~The Modern Woman website
We are a sponge…
Soaking it all in.But where does it come from?This information is gathered and downloaded from a variety of sources such as:
Influential People in our lives:
Evidence (real or perceived) from:
Adding to that list is when or what era you were born in, where you were born, what global events were shaping and impacting the world at large and in your neighborhood. The environment and conditions of where you grew up, along with access to information can factor in as well.
Those and more are considered to be reliable sources and because of that we attach absolute rightness to that information, in our minds. Everything that you believe and believe to be right about yourself and the world at large, is your Belief System. Most of which is correct, the balance that is incorrect becomes a part of you as well.
Beliefs help us make sense of the world within and around us. They act as a guiding principle or a point of reference for our mind to accept, modify or delete information that we receive through our senses.
Our attachment to the accuracy of this information may cause us to repeat the same patterns and decisions over and over again. Which can affect your life in all ways, either positively or not so positively. Today, it is possible that beliefs you acquired then may be influencing you and your relationship with your life today.
Have you ever looked up to someone, respected their point of view and advice, modeled or adapted some of how they show up in the world? Then they did or said something that significantly changed your perspective of them? And Your World?
The respect or regard you held for them was lost or diminished?
Depending on the person or business even, that can be devastating. Your world can feel shook.
I will never forget choosing to tell my daughter about the Tooth Fairy. She was on the verge of losing another tooth, was so excited about the Tooth Fairy visit.
I had learned that the majority of her classmates knew the truth… So I told her the truth and she was DEVASTATED.
Almost immediately she asked about Santa.
<cue broken heart, both hers and mine>
I am not talking about ‘cancel culture’, where celebrities, brands and known ‘influencers’ are getting cancelled and the public rejecting their promoted ideals or the products they represent. It does, however, support the point that values can change en masse.
This is more about people who were in your ecosystem and the trust you had in the information you had acquired is in question.
Maybe you matured and outgrew the beliefs which were shaped by your early influencers. With more life experience, wisdom and education, skills and overall broader world view, you established new values that supported you and your identity.
Looking at your own self and deciding what was most important to you and for you regardless of what you had believed, adopted or adapted from others.
So, answer me this
Don’t be surprised if you answered that question with something that you don’t want.
Just know that even if you are clear about something you don’t want that doesn’t make the opposite something that you value highly. Nor does it tell YOUR story about what is important to you.
Curious as to – Why would you want to dig deeper?
I’ll talk about that in the next post.
Until then, Sending Good Vibes!
¹ Paraphrased from the Grief Recovery Handbook